Or Blurring Techniques Explained Firsthand
Right off the bat, let me plead guilty to borrowing this title from the wonderful author Isabel Allende. While Canada and Chile have little in common, we voluntary exiles share the contradictory sentiments attached to land of birth. (Amusingly enough, the two are at right angles to each other geographically.)
Besides, I’m having a bit of a Canuck revival here – Leonard Cohen is playing constantly in the studio and I bought ALL the Douglas Coupland books I could find. (Is it a sign of the times that “Microserfs” already reads like a history book? Of course it could be worse, I could be buying Ye Compleat Margaret Atwood and 8-tracks of Rush and BTO. When I do THAT I’ll definitely be ready for the Boomer’s Riverside Retirement Home in Grand Forks or Flin-Flon.)
How to obtain artistic blurring affect:
Take one illustrator, put on plane across at least six time zones, pick up at airport and submit said illustrator to non-stop media schedule.
I don’t think I have ever had a trip like that – two and a half days of back-to-back interviews and signing sessions and a talk at a school. I’m VERY grateful to the people who organised it all for keeping me watered and fed and prompting and ferrying me with such alacrity from place to place. I didn’t even have time to turn into a channel-hopping slug, my most common state when faced with a few jet-lagged hours in the lull of an anonymous hotel. (Instead, we were treated to an early-morning fire alarm and huddled in the rain under storefront awnings while the firetrucks blocked the street outside. I strongly suspect them of organising that too, just to keep me alert.)
There was also a Purina Pet Food convention at the hotel the same weekend. Now I know everybody has conventions nowadays, but a pet food convention? What do people DO at a pet food convention? Talk product? Exchange vintage tins? I missed the weekend gala fashion show, what a shame.
It was great fun, though (no, not the cat food convention) as I realized when I finally caught up with myself on the flight home.
People I Almost Met
The Elf Fantasy Fair was an artistic blur too, albeit sunlit and extravagantly costumed.
I almost met some real VIPs, but only almost. I nearly met Terry Pratchett, but the men’s room hardly seems like a congenial place to say “Hi, I like your books.” to someone who’s just emerging from a stall. I very nearly met Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell, who were seated about a yard from me in the signing pen, but by the time the line finally petered out and I turned around, they had gone.
On the other hand, still in the VIP category, I did manage to catch up with Alan, discuss the perplexing state of our world with John Noble, and nearly die laughing as Laurence Makoare recounting his memorable introduction to The Rock…
My brief surrealist moment came in a sharp surge of panic when I realized, in the car on the way to the airport before dawn, that I had totally forgotten to ask what flight what time what company what am-I-gonna-to-do-now?. While debating on whether to wake people up or miss my plane, I found the only red-eye flight to Geneva and salvation.
Running for President
In case you didn’t know, Neuchâtel is home to a Fantasy and Science Fiction Film Festival. This year they are hosting the Golden Meliès, and since the “Swiss” member of the jury gets to preside, it’s… moi.
The film festival here is wonderful fun, and a brave undertaking if there was one, considering how arduous it is to get cultural events that aren’t either mainstream or grassroots off the ground in this country.
A Clash of Kings
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At long last, I am told the limited edition is finally shipping. George R. R. Martin has announced it on his web site. (Go to the NEWS section.)
Fribourg
After Geneva, the originals of the Abandoned City will be at the Librairie la Bulle, in Fribourg.
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Mea Culpa
While in Toronto on an unfamiliar computer, I managed to erase most of the e-mails sent to contact@john-howe.com before April 23rd… While this did effectively deal with the spam, I deleted a healthy number of real messages too. Please forgive me, and if I have not replied by now, please do write again.
And, despite my most commendable intentions, I have once again fallen behind on answering mail and returning books and the like that people have sent to be signed. I will catch up this summer. Thanks for your patience.
(e-)Baywatch
A friend sent these in. The things you find on e-Bay…
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This is an auction for a
John Howe AUTOGRAPHED Gandalf Vs. The Balrog Poster Print “Moria”
This is an extremely beautiful poster that was illustrated by John Howe. He is the leading expert in Lord of the Rings images, helping out with the 3 extremely successful movies. This is the beautiful depiction of the infamous scene in the Mines of Moria where Gandalf fights the Balrog, eventually losing and falling down the shaft of the mine. It is extremely colourful and beautifully hand-signed by John Howe in silver ink in the bottom right hand corner. This beautiful poster measures approximately 11.5 by 17.5 inches.
Here is a picture of John signing this poster!
Shipping and handling will be $7.99 USD within North America, slightly higher for international bidders.
I occasionally have conversations at signing sessions that go like this:
“Who is it for, please?”
“Just a signature will be fine.”
“It’s for e-Bay then?” (My belated attempt at a joke.)
“Hmmm? Uh, no, I have… uh TWO brothers/sisters/cousins and I haven’t decided who to give it to yet.” (You know when you can practically see the “loading…” bar on the forehead it’s not likely to be true.)
Of course, I sign, for all I know, there may be two relatives waiting in the wings, but anyway…
As I was dutifully scrawling my name – sorry, making the poster “beautifully hand-signed by John Howe in silver ink in the bottom right hand corner”, I thought goodness what a diligent fan, taking all these photos. Doubtlessly for a well-stocked souvenir album for his absent siblings.
All things considered, even if it does sell at the asking price of 20 bucks – which I doubt – the poor guy DID spent three hours in line to get it, which is barely the minimum wage. (The same seller also has Jane Fonda’s autographed autobiography on e-Bay. She was signing in Toronto the day before me. Does he spend his waking hours in queues or what?)
By the way, about signatures… a wide variety of objects come under my pencil/pen/felt-tip. Besides the regular crop of books, posters, maps, calendars and such, there are: personal sketchbooks, original drawings and painitngs, resin statues, school bags, arms, legs, t-shirts, backs, shoes, hats, cloaks, swords and more. I should keep a list.
Well, I’ll be…
I should keep a list of other things too… just checked e-bay, the signed poster sold for US $48,99. Hmm, definitely a white-collar job, this waiting in line.
Completely Booked
In the category of amusing things to waste more time and perhaps spend even more money… check this. (It works for any author’s name on amazon.)
Studio Shot
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The things one does in one’s spare time… in this case, making a tree of thorns (ingredients: pieces of roots of a storm-felled tree on the shore of the lake, all the thorns off the rose bush trimmings (ouch!), glue, a minimum of dexterity) for my son’s Warhammer Chaos army. (I am so grateful he lets me near what he does that no chore is too menial.)
